Chapter 2: More Than Meets The Eye, Part 2 of 3

The Autobots follow a mysterious spacecraft.

Convoy: "This looks suspiciously like a trap."

The Autobots gather around.

???: "We can recharge and regroup here."
Vector Prime: "He's right. There are no other lifeforms in the vicinity."

The Autobots gather around their unknown saviour.

Autobots: "TRANSFORM!!!"
Convoy: "Why does he look like half a spaceship?"

Suspicion grows.

Convoy: "He's half a talking spaceship. It's so obvious this is a trap."
Crosswise: "Wait. Where's Backstop?"

The lumbering rhino approaches.

Backstop: "Over... puff... here..."

The half-spaceship turns out to be a Transformer as well.

Jetfire: "Sorry, Backstop! I thought the reverse arc formation with you at the back would be the fastest way we could escape!"

Old fogey.

Backstop: "I don't... puff... have wheels... huff... or engines... like you... young brats!"

Backstop collapses in exhaustion.

Convoy: "Just transform, Backstop, then you can recharge."
Backstop: "Not enough energy... someone needs to transform me..."

Convoy shows why he's the leader.

Vector Prime: "I'm not touching him. You're the leader, Convoy, you do it."
Convoy: "... fine."

Such dextrous limbs!

Convoy: "Don't you ever take a bath, Backstop?"
Backstop: "I did... when we were in Xataxxis."

Almost there!

Convoy: "You should have been called Doorstop."
Backstop: "Respect your elders, young one!"

Transform!

Convoy: "Done!"
Backstop: "You haven't lost your touch, Galaxy Convoy."
Convoy: "Convoy! It's just Convoy!"

The Autobot team at a meeting.

Jetfire: "Hey! The talking half-spaceship transformed!"
Vector Prime: "Who are you, and why did you save us?"

Millennium.

???: "My name is Millennium. I am an Autobot, just like the rest of you."

Backstop shows he's good for something after all.

Backstop: "His Energon signature is... familiar. Wait. You're Prime Convoy! The legendary Autobot hero!"

Safeguard is up mischief, as usual.

Crosswise: "Prime Convoy... he's the one who saved the Autobot race from being annihilated, if I remember my history correctly."
Millennium: "That is... correct. But such things do not matter. There are matters of greater urgency."

Backstop voices his suspicions.

Backstop: "Convoy... there's something you should know. Prime Convoy died long ago."
Convoy: "Maybe that's why he's called Millennium... to show how long he's been dead? Do you think he can help me find Galaxy Trailer?"

Safeguard the Minicon monkey.

Millennium: "Er... well, yes, I suppose I could help you find Galaxy Trailer..."
Vector Prime: "You have such abilities? Then perhaps you could help us locate Primus, our deity?"

It's time to start arrowing someone.

Millennium: "Yes, I could help you build a device to aid you in your efforts. But it will need more raw materials than what we have at hand."
Backstop: "Then it's time for you youngsters to pull your weight! Jetfire! Crosswise! Go find more raw materials for us!"
Convoy: "Backstop, shut up. I give the orders around here."

Saikang party.

Jetfire: "It's all right, Convoy! I'll sweep the perimeter systematically and look for the materials we need. Crosswise is a ranger, after all, he can help me!"
Crosswise: "A little fresh air would be good, too."

The Autobots' first mission!

Vector Prime: "There's not really much choice anyway... Millennium and I have to stay here to build, and Backstop's too old and useless to really do much..."
Backstop: "I've been fighting ever since you were just a protoform!"
Convoy: "True. Jetfire can fly, and Crosswise is good at these wilderness things. But be careful!"
Crosswise: "We'll be back soon."

Meanwhile, over to the Decepticons...

XXX: "This is a safe place to stop."
Starscream: "Why are we listening to a stranger?"

TRANSFORM!!!

Chromia: "Well, I think he looks kind of handsome."
Thundercracker: "But... Chromia's prettier!"

No stars on Starscream?

Starscream: "I demand to know who you are! And why you brought us here! And why you're only half a spaceship! And how come you don't have a Decepticon or Autobot symbol!"

Falcon.

XXX: "You may address me as Falcon. Rest assured that I am a Decepticon, as are you all."

Soundwave scans Falcon.

Soundwave: "Vocal processors... and optic sensors... match those of Master Liege. You were reformatted?"

He's damn ugly.

Falcon: "Yes, an unfortunate set of circumstances. But you have more important issues to deal with, Decepticons. Your deity is - "

Starscream stirs shit.

Starscream: "Master Liege? Master Liege! Wasn't he an Emperor of Destruction once? Shouldn't he be leader, then, instead of Soundwave!
Thundercracker: "Hur hur yeah! Falcon should be leader! He was leader before!"

Confrontation.

Soundwave: "Falcon may have been our leader once... but Master Liege is dead. Falcon cannot be telling the truth."
Falcon: "Are you doubting my words, Soundwave? Perhaps a lesson is in order to teach you to respect your superiors.
Scrapmetal: "Arf! Arf!"
Starscream: "I say we have a trial by combat! Whoever still functions at the end will be our leader!"

Infighting so soon?

Soundwave: "I will not give up my position to anyone but Master Megatron. You are an impostor!"

Falcon swiftly disarms Soundwave.

Soundwave: "My weapons!"
Falcon: "Don't trifle with me. I wasn't Emperor of Destruction without a reason."

Don't you love the special effects?

Soundwave: "URGH!"

Falcon throttles Soundwave

Falcon: "Do you surrender?"
Soundwave: "Nuh... never..."

Loyal Laserbeak attacks Falcon.

Laserbeak: "CHEEP!"
Falcon: "Get off me, stupid bird!"

Pwned by Falcon.

Falcon: "I ask you again, do you surrender, or do I have to make your defeat complete?"
Soundwave: "You will distort Master Megatron's vision! For Master Megatron!"

Soundwave's immense loyalty.

Soundwave: "I will not let anyone but a Decepticon lead the Decepticons!"
Starscream: "Does that mean you will let me lead?"

Falcon lifts Soundwave up with one arm.

Falcon: "I do not want leadership of the Decepticons. I just want you to cease your pointless fighting. You cannot defeat me. I'm bigger."

Falcon leaves in a huff.

Falcon: "Forget it. I will search the area for a suitable base for the Decepticon Empire. In the meantime, I suggest you think about me being your ally. I have much to offer you."

Soundwave lies defeated.

Soundwave: "Unggh... Decepticons.... Forever..."

Cute little Scrapmetal to the rescue.

Scrapmetal: "Woof woof? (Translation: Are you all right?)"

Oops! Falcon left his crossbow behind.

Soundwave: "TRANSFORM!"

Soundwave, Ambassador of Destruction.

Soundwave: "I will... need time to recharge. Starscream, Thundercracker, Chromia. I want you to scout our surroundings for any other sentient beings who may be potential allies or slaves."

The Three Stooges.

Chromia: "But like, I'm a boat! How do you want me to scout? I haven't seen any bodies of water ever since we returned to Seibertron!"
Starscream: "Who asked you to have a useless transformation, Chromia!"
Chromia: "Hmph! You're so out of fashion! Speedboats are way cool!"

Dissent within the ranks.

Starscream: "Whatever! I only listen to winners... not losers like you, Soundwave! I would have thrashed Falcon in a fight!"
Soundwave: "I would have liked to see you try. Only the weak scream... Starscream."

The odd couple.

Soundwave: "Thundercracker, Chromia, you two scout the area, since Starscream is too weak to. Report any incidents to me immediately."
Thundercracker/Chromia: "Yes, Ambassador of Destruction!"

How do the Autobots build things so fast?

Back to the Autobots, who have began work on Teletrann I...

Convoy is amazingly tactless.

Convoy: "So, Millennium... I thought you died before?"
Millennium: "It is a... painful story. Suffice to say that I am glad that my sacrifice enabled the Autobot race to live on in the form of you five. How was the trip to Xataxxis?"
Convoy: "Well, it was fun at first. Over there, they called themselves Kodeb instead, and this dimension was known as Senipmat to them. Weird folks."
Millennium: "Indeed."

Safeguard slacks off on Vector Prime's shoulder.

Backstop: "So, who was that other guy who lead the Decepticons away?"
Millennium: "He is my eternal nemesis, and a foe of great evil. He is Falcon... but like me, he went by a different name in the past. He was Master Liege, my archenemy... the Decepticon tyrant."
Vector Prime: "But he sacrificed himself, like you, didn't he?"
Millennium: "Do not compare his sacrifice with mine! His death was unintentional, while mine was a sacrifice for the good of all Transformers!"

Millennium is pissed.

Vector Prime: "Sorry."
Millennium: "Forget it. Your device is almost complete. When your companions return with the necessary components, you will be able to finish it easily."
Convoy: "But what does it do?"

Millennium leaves.

Millennium: "It will be able to detect Energon emission signals similar to those of Transformers. You will be able to locate other Transformers... and by a corollary, your deity, Primus. I need to leave now, the memories of the past are too painful for me. But I will return, Autobots."

Chromia and Thundercracker think of ways to slack off.

Somewhere else on Seibertron...

Such a sweet young couple.

Chromia: "Okay, out with it Thundercracker! Why did you bring me here?"
Thundercracker: "I thought it was a nice place. I brought Energon cakes."

Chromia is surprised.

Chromia: "Oh my gosh! You brought so much food! How did you do it?"
Thundercracker: "Hur hur! It's a secret!"

That's a lot of food.

Chromia: "So you can bake?"
Thundercracker: "Yeah! I learned it when we were on Xataxxis. Didn't fight so much there... well, not until the Nebulos War..."
Chromia: "It's okay. It was a tough for all of us."

Thundercracker pours his heart out.

Thundercracker: "Yeah it was. I... I don't know if any of my friends made it there through the Space Bridge. I know Master Megatron is important and everything... but I wished Soundwave would look for my friends too. So many of my friends died during the Nebulos War... and even more probably died during the unstable Space Bridge back here, to Seibertron."

Chromia daintily eats a cake as big as her face.

Chromia: "Mmm... I lost many friends too. But you know what's really cool? You're a good baker!"

A happy couple at a happy feast.

Thundercracker: "Really? I wasn't sure if the diesel would go well with the lubricant formula. I mean, it was a gamble, really, hur hur, but - "
Chromia: "I like gambles! And this one paid off so excellently! It's so delicious!"

How do these Transformers stay so thin?

Thundercracker: "Hur hur! I've got a surprise for you Chromia, but you've got to close your eyes after we finish the food."

Peek-a-boo!

Chromia: "Better not be a lame surprise!"

Thundercracker jios Chromia!

Thundercracker: "Will... you... er... hur... go... stead with me?"
Chromia: "That's a gigantic ring! Is it pure Cybertronium?"

It's more like a choker than a ring.

Thundercracker: "Yeah! Hur hur! I took all my life savings to make this ring! So... er... go stead can?"
Chromia: "Of course! You're... kind of handsome yourself, kekeke!"

The first couple in Transformers: Legacy.

Thundercracker: "Does it fit?"
Chromia: "Well, I've lost some weight since travelling here... but it's beautiful! No worries okay?"

Awww...

Chromia: "Muack muack!"
Thundercracker: "Muack muack!"

Thundercracker is shy.

Thundercracker: "Where do you want to go now, girlfriend?"

What's that behind?

Chromia: "Well, I'd like to go shopping, but seeing as this is a dimension of deserted battered ruins where a great war devastated this wasteland, I don't think that's possible. How about we go and walk walk?"

Thundercracker spots Millennium flying off.

Thundercracker: "Uh..."
Chromia: "Thundercracker! Are you listening to me?"

Uh oh...

Thundercracker: "Girlfriend, look!"
Chromia: "It's that weird half spaceship thing that helped the Autobots escape!"

The two brightest Decepticons figure out what to do.

Chromia: "It looks like it came from that canyon over there! I think that's where the Autobots are!"
Thundercracker: "If we tell Soundwave... maybe we can get promoted! Hur hur!"

First date!

Chromia: "We're going to get promoted! And all thanks to you... MUACKS!"
Thundercracker: "HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR!"

Caught in the act!

Jetfire: "Decepticons! You were right, Crosswise!"
Crosswise: "They always leave an Energon trail behind them. Quite easy to trace if you know how."
Chromia: "Aaaahhh! Autobots!"

A menacing duo.

Crosswise: "You better give up, Decepticons. Before we force you to."
Jetfire: "Think of the odds! There's less than a 20% chance you'll win this battle!"

First date interrupted.

Thundercracker: "Don't worry, girlfriend! I'll protect you!"
Chromia: "I don't want them to damage my new Cybertronium ring!"

The brave Decepticons decide to face their fate.

Thundercracker: "Uh... we don't want any trouble! We were just having us a... picnic, okay? Don't harm Chromia! She's my girlfriend!"
Chromia: "I think they figured that out from the giant ring on my neck."

Jetfire takes on Thundercracker.

Jetfire: "GIRLFRIEND??? Thundercracker, don't you know Chromia is a slut?"
Thundercracker: "Don't call her that! That was all in the past!"

The Autobots are spoiling for a fight.

Chromia: "Excuse me! Watch who you're calling a slut!"
Crosswise: "Everyone knows you interface around, Chromia. Even some of the Autobots were your victims once."
Thundercracker: "She's not! She's only going to interface with me from now on!"
Jetfire: "Thundercracker! Listen to me, she's not the girl for you!"

Duel of the... blasters.

Crosswise: "We're not letting you get away with another victim, Chromia. Anyway, a Decepticon couple is just sick."
Chromia: "You're just jealous I don't want to interface with you!"

That's really got to hurt.

Thundercracker: "Why should I listen to you! Autobots always try to kill me!"
Jetfire: "Yes, but we miss on purpose! Chromia's going to break your heart! Remember that idiot, Hot Rod?"

The battle has attracted the attention of a plastic bag in the distance.

Thundercracker: "Hot Rod was a wuss of an Autobot! My girlfriend wouldn't really love a wuss!"
Chromia: "That's right! Thundercracker is my new sweetie now! Let go of him!"
Jetfire: "Not on your stinking Spark, Chromia! Let go of Crosswise first!"
Crosswise: "Gasp... she's stifling my air inhalers..."

Crosswise suffocates under Chromia's thighs.

Chromia: "Like my thighs around your throat, Crosswise?"
Crosswise: "They're... fat!"
Chromia: "Unnngggh! No they're not!"

More expensive special effects!

Jetfire: "Swing left!"
Crosswise: "Huff... Swing right!"

The Decepticons get their asses whooped again.

Thundercracker: "Don't... hurt Chromia..."
Jetfire: "Well, they were just on a date after all."
Chromia: "You wouldn't hurt a lady, would you?"
Crosswise: "I would hardly call you a lady."

The Decepticons surrender.

Jetfire: "Hey! Come back here!"
Thundercracker: "I'd kick your ass, but Chromia's here so I need to protect her!"

Well, more like retreat.

Chromia/Thundercracker: "TRANSFORM!"
Crosswise: "They must not get away."

Amazing how they can actually lift off.

Thundercracker: "Girlfriend, you're a bit heavy..."
Chromia: "It was all the Energon cakes just now!"
Crosswise: "They're moving too fast for me to get a clear shot at them!"
Jetfire: "Just shoot!"

More special effects!

Chromia: "So long, suckers!"

Starscream reports in to Soundwave.

Back to the Decepticons...

Soundwave still hasn't picked up his weapons.

Starscream: "Soundwave! Chromia and Thundercracker just radioed in! They said they might have the location of the current Autobot base!"
Soundwave: "Good. Laserbeak, head to those co-ordinates now."

Where angels fear to tread...

Meanwhile, in another unknown portion of Seibertron...

Millennium?!

Millennium: "My lord, your humble vassal has returned."

This is getting creepier by the minute.

??? #2: "Kneel before you speak, whelp."

Darkness and dread.

Millennium: "Spare me, my lord, for I forgot the importance of deference in my haste to reach you."
??? #2: "What news have you for me?"

Horror permeates every nook and cranny.

Millennium: "My lord, I have aided the Autobots as you commanded. They will soon have the capabilities to seek out their lost deity, as well as the Cyber Keys."
??? #2: "Very well. You may rise."

Truth is stranger than fiction.

Millennium: "My lord, what about - "
??? #2: "Do not worry. The Decepticons will have similar capabilities... soon."

TO BE CONTINUED